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HUSave this to prepare for the next visit with your mum 🛟
When someone in your life avoids their own emotions, they will likely avoid yours too. If feelings were dismissed, minimized, or rushed growing up, you may have learned that yours and others’ emotional needs are inconvenient.
Sometimes this looks like a constant focus on quick “solutions” to the perceived problem. The car needs washing, the to-do list needs to be handled and the plan needs to be made to AVOID discomfort and then when you’re trying to share something vulnerable (like your experience transitioning into motherhood) the response skips over your feelings and jumps straight to fixing 😭
Slowly but surely you learn feelings slow things down, needs are less important than the task and connection comes from being useful, not honest.
And when someone pushes their agenda as the priority, the focus shifts from your feeling and their “solution” becomes the emergency.
Codependence is often a nervous system adaptation to emotional unavailability and it’s the byproduct when attunement is replaced with efficiency and listening is replaced with fixing.
Full transparency: I have been on both sides of this interaction in my life and BOTH are so uncomfortable.
Once both parties have the internal safety to hold space for their own feelings, it becomes much more easeful to share honestly minus the urgency
#codependence #therapymemes #therapistmemes #therapyforwomen
@hungryheart_therapy
