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THPeople who are avoidant find emotional intimacy triggering and unsafe. They cope with this by being: distant, shut down, and hyper-independent.
Avoidance (like all attachment styles) happens on a spectrum. The more they experienced betrayal, shaming, rejection, or abandonment growing up— the more the impulse will be to self focus. Unlike someone with anxious attachment— who soothes through reassurance and attachment to a partner, someone who’s avoidant soothes through fleeing and self reliance.
Underneath all of the behavior is deep fear, insecurity, and a flight response that’s easily triggered with any feeling of having to meet the needs of another.
NOTE: when I do posts on avoidant attachment, the comment section tends to become the most reactive. Please understand my intention is to teach on attachment styles because it’s the most influential in how we relate to other people. I teach so you understand the “why” of your own behavior or the behavior of those you love. As always, you are empowered to choose who you allow into your life and world. And regardless of a person’s background it is them who is responsible for their own healing. Sending love and support to all #selfhealers
@the.holistic.psychologist
