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EVit’s hard feeling like you want a relationship with your parents, but you’re just waiting for them to finally step up & they never do. you don’t want to regret distancing yourself when they’re older, but it takes two to have a healthy relationship.
it’s heartbreaking when you still love them, but they always take you to a dark place that you can’t bear.
everything in this video is true. the only thing that I embellished (because let’s be honest, influencers always embellish for views/retention) is that I didnt live solely in my car for very long, it was around 2 weeks.
But I did start to sleep in my car every night when I still lived at home, because I learned bed bugs couldn’t survive the daytime heat in a hot car. fun fact!
I also slept there because it was an escape from the constant buzz of anxiety, induced by living with a once-loving father figure, who for unexplained reasons would now take every opportunity to tell you you’re worthless: when he walks past your open bedroom door while you’re trying to fall asleep - “good for nothing”; when you’re playing games trying to escape reality - “pathetic & hopeless”; when your grades start slipping because you’re d*pressed from the constant verbal a*sault - “can’t do anything right, can you?”.
Every mistake made me more worthless to him, and I really started to feel that I was worthless. And then, I’d make more “mistakes”. A cycle.
my tiny old Honda was my cramped escape from my personal h*ll for too long
It took me a long time to leave because I had a special needs step-sister (his child) who was deeply obsessed with me & depended on me to get to many of her appointments. I also felt bad for my mom, even though she wouldn’t leave him. I was broke because I often gave them my scholarship money. It was so hard to leave.
I’m doing so much better now so please don’t feel bad for me! It’s hard to set healthy boundaries but I learned that that’s what’s best & I have a peaceful life. I’m also fortunate that I’ve always been able to make my risky decisions work for me.
The lesson is: let’s be nice to everybody because you never know what they’ve been through, what decisions they’ve had to make in life.
@evalangwin
