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CAWhen a client says “what if you assess me and I’m not autistic” — here’s what’s actually running through my mind.
1️⃣ She doesn’t know how rare it actually is to walk away without a diagnosis. By the time a woman has done enough research to seek an assessment, identified with the experience enough to book it, and sat in that chair — the vast majority of the time, there’s something there. The fear of being told she’s not autistic is almost always bigger than the reality.
2️⃣ She’s not scared of the assessment. She’s scared of losing the only explanation that has ever made sense. By the time a woman sits in front of me, she’s dug deep and really starting to think things fit. The fear isn’t about the assessment. It’s about what it would mean to lose a framework that finally makes some sense.
3️⃣ She thinks being told she’s not autistic means she made it up. She didn’t. It doesn’t mean nothing is wrong, and it doesn’t mean she’s been imagining things. It means we keep looking. The experience is real regardless of what the assessment finds.
4️⃣ She’s probably been doubting herself her whole life. This is almost never just about the assessment. It’s the latest version of a much older story — the one where she talks herself out of her own experience before anyone else gets the chance to.
5️⃣ What I’m actually thinking: she might not be autistic — she might be AuDHD. For a lot of the women I assess, ADHD isn’t even on their radar. They came for autism. But as I’m listening I’m already mapping both — because the parts of herself that make her doubt she’s autistic? They’re often the ADHD she didn’t know she had. AuDHD isn’t autism plus ADHD. It’s its own thing — and it changes everything.
If this is the question that’s been keeping you from booking — I hope this helps.
Questions about assessment? Drop them below. ❤️👇
@caracrotherspsychology
