1.2M
ANTW: depersonalization & derealization.
This is what DPDR used to feel like for me.
On the outside, I probably looked a bit disoriented… maybe anxious… but mostly “normal.”
On the inside, everything felt wrong.
Supermarkets were one of the hardest places.
The lights felt too bright and artificial.
Sounds felt sharper.
My vision felt flat, fuzzy, almost greyed out, like I was watching the world through a screen.
It felt like I wasn’t fully in my body.
Like I was there, but not really there.
Sometimes I’d question whether I was even real, or whether this was how things would feel forever.
I lived like this constantly for more than 10 years.
Not on and off.
Not just during panic attacks.
All the time.
What made it worse was the fear of the feeling itself.
I was terrified of DPDR, terrified of making it stronger, terrified that pushing myself would make it stay permanently.
So I avoided.
Places. Situations. Change.
But the feeling stayed anyway.
What I eventually learned is that DPDR, as distressing as it is, is not dangerous.
It’s a nervous system response, often linked to anxiety, not a sign that you’re broken or losing your mind.
And the way out wasn’t trying to get rid of the feeling.
It was learning to live alongside it.
Doing things while feeling unreal.
Going to the shop anyway.
Letting the sensations be there without checking, analysing, or fighting them.
That’s how the moments of relief started.
Seconds at first.
Then minutes.
Then longer stretches where I forgot to monitor how I felt.
Over time, those moments became the norm.
If you’re dealing with DPDR right now, please know this:
You’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
I’ve opened a free DPDR support group chat inside my community where people can share experiences, ask questions, and talk openly with others who genuinely understand, including me.
💬 Comment “dpdr group”and I’ll invite you in.
I know how isolating this can feel. I’m happy to talk.
@anxiety_fitness
