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DRDealing with disapproval is distinct from coping with criticism because we often make assumptions that others will disapprove before they even voice it. This is linked to the spotlight effect in which we tend to overestimate how much others are focusing on us and scrutinising us.
When we are not imagining disapproval in our own heads, sometimes it comes openly from friends or loved ones. That hurts and makes us question our choices and actions. Getting past disapproval from loved ones is much easier to do if we have absolute clarity on our values and the reasons behind our choices. If they are based on what matters most, the life we want to live and the kind of person we want to be, then our choices can be directed toward seeking our own approval. Doing this doesn’t stop the sting of disapproval. But it helps us move through it.
How do you deal with disapproval from others? Do you also notice the spotlight effect where you overestimate how much others are scrutinising you?
#confidence #wellbeing #headstrong #anxiety #socialanxiety #anxietyanddepression #mentalhealth #selfesteem #therapy
@drjulie
