7.9K
NACodependency hurts ๐ฅฒ Spoken by a recovering codependent! Follow @nathaliachristensen for more ๐ฉท
#datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships #relationshipcoach #trendingreels
@nathaliachristensen
#Avoiding Codependency In Relationships
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MAFix codependency using this 5-step method:
If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions:
1) What upset me?
Example: โIโm upset that they donโt want to spend time with me.โ
2) How did that make me feel?
Example: โIt makes me feel like Iโm unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.โ
3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe?
Example: โThey need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safeโ and โI need reassurance and quality time.โ
4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner.
Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?"
5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information!
#codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips
@matthiasjbarker
594.0K
EMMore in the caption ๐
Avoidance feels safe in the moment.
But in the long run, it costs you the very thing youโre craving.
If you grew up learning that vulnerability was risk, or if youโve been in relationships where being open backfiredโฆ Then silence can feel like self-protection.
But hereโs what no one tells you:
- Avoidance doesnโt protect your relationship, it weakens it.
- Unspoken needs donโt disappear, they just turn into resentment.
- The fear of being โtoo muchโ often comes from never having been fully seen.
Secure connection is built through hard conversations. Through honest check-ins. Through saying the thing, even when your voice shakes.
The more you hide, the less loved youโll feel, because theyโre not connecting with you, theyโre connecting with a filtered version.
This is your sign to choose connection over avoidance. Especially when itโs scary.
#avoidantattachment #relationshipcommunication #emotionalintimacy #relationshipgrowth #healingattachment #vulnerabilityiskey #honestrelationships #conflictrepair #secureconnection #relationshipcoach
#relationships #relationshipgoals #couple #couplegoalsโค๏ธ
@emotionalsam
75.3K
RACodependency is when, instead of regulating my own mood, I try to regulate your behavior. I will find no serenity until I admit that the only person I can control is myself.
ใ
ค
#codependency
#selfcontrol
#soulwisdom
@rabbi_shais_taub
4.4M
KE๐จ Itโs NOT normal in a relationship toโฆ
๐ญ Cry yourself to sleep while your partner rolls over, turns their back to you, and falls asleep like nothing happened.
๐ญ Get shut down, yelled at, or told youโre being โstupidโ or โtoo sensitiveโ any time you try voice your feelings or needs.
๐ญ Be made to feel like every disagreement or issue is your fault.
๐ญ Be given silent treatment when you do or say something your partner doesnโt like.
๐ญ Feel like youโre constantly walking on eggshells โ unsure if/when their mood will change & always trying to be on your best behaviour to try not set them off.
๐ญ Be gaslit into thinking youโre going crazy bc they deny things you know happened (like the way they raged at you last week or flirted with someone right in front of you).
๐ญ Dread nights out or holidays away bc you donโt know if theyโll get jealous, drink too much, ruin it with an argument, or punish you with the silent treatment after.
๐ญ Wonder if theyโll ever change enough to finally love you the way you wantโฆ and keep hoping maybe next month, after they go to therapy, when you have less fights or once theyโre less stressed then theyโll treat you better.
๐ฉ This is NOT a healthy relationship.
This is TOXIC.
And you deserve so much more than this.
๐ If any of this hit way too close to homeโฆ itโs time to get out of survival mode and HEAL so you never
๐ Get my FREE MASTERCLASS: Break Free From Toxic Love
Where I teach you exactly how to break free from toxic relationships for good and attract the secure, healthy love you deserve!
โ
โ
COMMENT or DM me โLOVEโ and Iโll send you the link!
.
.
#toxicrelationship #toxicrelationships #toxiclove #toxicrelationshipcoach #healingfromtoxicrelationships #narcissistic #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumahealing
@kendallbrowncoaching
320.8K
THThereโs a phenomenon called the negative cycle that top relationship experts have discovered. It shows up in almost every relationship, but itโs especially intense when someone with anxious attachment is paired with someone avoidant.
In this cycle, both peopleโs deepest insecurities get triggered. The anxious partner fears abandonment and feels like theyโre too much, always worried their partner will leave. When their avoidant partner shuts down, it feels like the very abandonment they fear is actually happening.
The avoidant partner fears rejection and being overwhelmed, so they pull away thinking, โIf I just avoid this, I wonโt make things worse.โ But in doing so, they reinforce the anxious partnerโs fear, and the cycle keeps spinning.
If youโve ever thought, โWhy do we keep having the same fights?โ...this is why. Youโre not just arguing about surface-level issues. Youโre triggering each otherโs deepest fears from childhood.
Better communication skills alone wonโt stop it. Real change happens when you heal the underlying fears and insecurities that keep fueling the conflict.
I created a FREE seminar that teaches you the 4 essential elements to healing the root fears and insecurities of anxious attachment. Itโs called โFrom Anxious to Secure.โ Just comment โseminarโ below and Iโll send you the link!
PS: Itโs also in the link in my bio. ๐
@theartofhealingbytrevor
523.1K
CAHOW TO DEAL WITH AVOIDANT PARTNERS ๐ฉท๐ฉท
โข
#attachmentstyles #avoidant #healing #relationships #insight
@candacevandell
40.2K
MIIf youโre stuck in researching, understanding and analysingโฆ
Then I encourage you to ask yourself if you are in subconscious avoidance of taking action on these patterns, either by avoiding seeking the right support, or by avoiding doing the workโฆ
Staying in โunderstandingโ feels SAFER for codependents. But it doesnโt help you move forwards, even if your brain tries to convince you that it willโฆ
If youโre ready to face the real work, then comment โHEALโ and Iโll guide you through it โค๏ธ
@michelle_themindsetcoach
18.5K
KN๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
Understanding the difference between interdependence and codependence is crucial for navigating relationships healthily.
When youโre in an ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐๐ง๐ญ relationship, you and your spouse mutually rely on each other in a way that is ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ, supportive, and empowering . It means you can count on each other for support, but you also maintain your own identity, ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ, and ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ strength.
Youโre capable of standing on your own but choose to stand ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ because it enriches ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก of your ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฌ. This balance ensures that both individuals ๐๐๐๐๐ฑ, both as a ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ and ๐ข๐ง๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.
In contrast, being in a ๐๐จ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐๐ง๐ญ relationship means that ๐จ๐ง๐ or ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก of you feel an ๐๐ฑ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฏ๐ emotional or ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ reliance on the other. This kind of relationship often involves ๐ฌ๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ your own ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฌ or ๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ to meet the needs of the other person.
๐๐จ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐๐ง๐ญ is characterized by a lack of boundaries, where your sense of purpose and ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐-๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ก becomes deeply ๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ with the well-being of your partner, often to the ๐๐๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ of your own ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก, autonomy, and sometimes even ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐-๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ.
Simply put, interdependence is about ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ and ๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ, itโs about promoting personal ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ก๐ฑ, and ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ each otherโs independence. Codependence, on the other hand, is about needing each other or your spouse needing you to such an extent that it hinders your ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ก ๐ฑand independence, often leading to an ๐ฎ๐ง๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ dynamic in the marriage. One always wins while the other loses.
Recognizing the difference can help you build a more healthy and successful marriage.
By the way if you are struggling in your Christian marriage, frustrated ๐ฃ, stuck and unhappy ๐, what if you can find peace again? Book a call ๐ฑ with us to learn how you can transform your life and build a better marriage. Link ๐ is in our bio.
๐ฅ: @jayshetty
#knoteasilybroken
@knoteasilybroken
595.8K
AWIt can feel like the avoidant holds the cards, is in control of the relationship, holds the keys to the direction of the relationship..
but the reality is that they are in an internal prison of hiding and fear.
And this pattern plays out with or without you in every single relationship theyโve ever been.
This is an echo from their past that they are doomed to repeating until they address their wounds emotions and feelings that no one ever held them compassionately through.
An avoidant heals by practicing being vulnerable, even when it scares them, by risking rejection, by learning to feel their uncomfortable emotions, by asking for help when they feel helpless, by doing the opposite of isolating.
You cannot push them, you cannot persuade them. You cannot get them to do this work. Only with enough pain, like anyone else, does an avoidant finally slow down to face themselves.
@awakeningwithbrian
1.1M
THEver wonder why you pull away when they get too close? Lets learn about avoidant attachment and how to deal with it. Watch till the end.
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#family #psychology #healingjourneys #selfawareness #familytrauma #personality #love #echomind
@the_echomind
2.3M
QU๐ฅ Comment โlibraryโ to watch the full episode
CODEPENDENCY 101
Itโs not your responsibility to manage the emotions, stressors, or behaviors of others โ codependency says otherwise.
Full breakdown in this weekโs episode:
- what codependency is
- how to recognize it
- how to heal it
Available now inside @thethirdflr
โฃ๏ธ
#codependency #peoplepleaser #boundaries #selfawareness #selfdevelopment #relationshipadvice
@quinlanwalther
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