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C.When I stay still long enough to feel “it” I notice a profound sadness that leads all the way back to childhood. How can a child contemplate their siblings death, on any level? They can’t. It’s too painful. It’s too real. It’s all encompassing. So you push it down…way, way down. Yet one thing I notice is everything that triggers it is an opportunity to feel, however, it can still be ignored because it’s simply TOO MUCH. I guess the fear is if I allow it then it’ll take me over and that is the very thing we/I must overcome…the resistance!!!! But then there are the other traumas that compounded it and forced it further in unto itself - making none of this is easy to unpack or, quite frankly, tolerable to even look at. It’s simply too overwhelming for the mind to fathom; it is the very thing that crushed us beyond words and the mind, with all its might, is still trying to protect us. #cptsd #compounded #trauma #cptsdawareness #cptsd
@c.m.poet
