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TYI’ve been thinking a lot about who I am.
Or maybe… who I was.
On trail, I was Whitney.
And Whitney still feels like me. But also… not entirely.
It’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it. You spend months being the most present, stripped down, honest version of yourself. Everything is simple. Every day has purpose. You’re just… there.
And then it’s back to normal.
People say the trail isn’t “real life”
I don’t buy that.
If anything, it’s the most real version of life I’ve ever felt.
Since the PCT, I’ve gone through waves. Highs, lows, everything in between. Some days I feel completely like myself again. Other days I feel weirdly disconnected from that version of me I know is in there somewhere.
But I don’t think Whitney is gone.
I think I’m just still figuring out how to bring him into everyday life.
Through people I love. Through getting outside. Through pushing myself. Through the small moments.
Today our tramily group chat was blowing up with old stories. Just laughing at the dumb hiker trash stuff we used to do. I was reminded of embarrassing experiences that had me dying of laughter.
Proof that version of me still exists.
This video started as a flight from Seattle to San Diego
right over the line I walked.
Looking out the window at 35,000 feet was an almost out of body experience. There’s a whole world of memories down there, and I lived them. Happy ones, sad ones, moments I wanted to quit, moments I pushed through.
I was flying down to see my parents for their 40th anniversary.
That day before, my mom found out she had cancer.
Everything got real, really fast.
She’s okay now and is cancer-free.
But in that moment, nothing felt guaranteed.
It reminded me of something the trail teaches you over and over:
Life is short.
Do the things that matter.
Don’t wait.
So yeah… I’m Tyler.
But I’m also Whitney.
And I’m still figuring out how to be both.
#pct #cdt #at #thruhike #jmt
@tyler_yezman
