2.5K
TH#ebsa #mentalhealth #childrensmentalhealth #anxiety #autism #autistic #audhd #adhd #sen #specialeducation
@the_inclusiveclass
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SAIf your child is experiencing emotional-based school avoidance, please read this…
One of the most harmful things that can happen is when a child is forced into school in a heightened emotional state — dragged through the gates, kicking and screaming.
This doesn’t build resilience — it builds trauma.
I say this not with judgment, but with empathy — I’ve lived it as a mum, and I’ve seen it as a headteacher. I know how overwhelming it can be when you’re under pressure from school, professionals, or even your own fear of “getting it wrong.”
But I’ve also seen — time and time again — how forcing a child into school this way only makes things worse in the long run. It breaks trust, increases anxiety, and can lead to complete shutdown.
When a child is overwhelmed, they don’t need to be pushed.
They need:
• Emotional safety first
• Connection over coercion
• A plan that works with them, not against them
You know your child best. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t — and you don’t have to go along with it, even if others say you should.
If you need support navigating this, I’m here.
DM me or click the link in bio to book a 1:1 consultation and please like and share this with others to remind them to always trust their gut.
#EBSA #SchoolRefusal #TraumaInformed #SchoolAvoidance #NeurodivergentChildren #ParentSupport #SENDHelp #SchoolAnxiety #NeurodiversityAffirming #ListenToChildren
@saradonnelly_3ls
35.1K
DRThis might be controversial, but the approach I take with EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance) is different to facing fears with anxiety more generally.
These are often children who want to be in school.
But their nervous system cannot cope with the current demands. This is especially true for neurodivergent children.
So the goal is not to push harder.
It is to understand the whole picture.
What often helps, even when it feels counterintuitive:
1. Accommodating before expecting
For children with EBSA, support comes first. Adjustments are not giving in. They allow the nervous system to settle so capacity can return.
2. Looking beyond behaviour
Tears, refusal, and physical symptoms are signals of overwhelm. Sensory load, social pressure, exhaustion, transitions, and unpredictability all matter.
3. Reducing the morning demand load
Later starts, shorter days, arriving after the bell, starting with one lesson, or having a calm entry point can completely change outcomes.
4. Built in breaks and exits
Knowing there is a way out often helps children stay. Feeling trapped escalates distress.
5. Graduated steps designed with the child
Progress works best when it is collaborative, flexible, and responsive rather than rigid and forced.
6. Protecting against burnout
Forcing attendance when a child is overwhelmed can lead to long term burnout and trauma. That is far more harmful than slowing down.
7. Get professional support early
This might mean further assessment, school based input, or therapeutic support. It also includes support for you as a parent. You do not have to hold this alone.
8. You matter too
EBSA takes a huge toll on parents. Many are living in constant anticipation of what each morning will bring, with their own nervous systems pushed into overwhelm. Supporting yourself is not optional here. It is part of supporting your child.
If this is your family, please know this.
You are not failing.
Your child is not refusing.
Their nervous system is overwhelmed.
Remember this is social media, not personalised advice. You know your child best and if you feel you need extra support, seek professional help ❤️
@dr_stephanie_doig
7.5K
THSo we’re just accepting this now?
That children cry, panic, and beg not to go… and we still walk them through those gates anyway?
If I left my child somewhere they felt scared every single day, people would question me.
But call it “school”… and suddenly it’s normal.
We dress it up as:
“resilience”
“routine”
“they’ll get used to it”
But what if they shouldn’t have to?
What if the problem isn’t that they can’t cope… but that they’re being asked to cope with something that isn’t right for them in the first place?
Because I’ve sat at that kitchen table… after the phone calls, after the meltdowns, after watching my child slowly lose themselves.
And I questioned everything.
Am I making this worse?
Should I just push through?
Is this actually normal?
And the truth is…
Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s right.
Your child is not the problem.
And if you’re in that place right now, where something doesn’t feel right but you don’t know what to do next…
I created something for that exact moment.
Comment RESET and I’ll send it to you, or head straight to the link in my bio ❤️
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#homeschool #motherhood #pda #ebsa #sen
@thelevelledupmum
8.8K
ASSchool anxiety is now one of the biggest issues parents are facing — but most still don’t know their legal rights. If your child is panicking at the gate, refusing school, melting down at home or physically unable to cope with the environment, this is not
“naughtiness” or “poor parenting.” It is recognised in law as a special educational need.
In this video I explain, in simple terms, what the school must do, what they cannot do, has how to protect yourself from fines, and how to document everything so you’re legally covered.
If your child is struggling with school anxiety, you are not alone — and you have far more rights than you’ve been told. #SchoolAnxiety #ebsa #senrights #parentsupport #sendsupport
@askellie.co.uk
3.6K
DRIf I had a pound for every time I heard someone dismiss Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) as “just bad behaviour”… 😅
Children who avoid school due to emotional distress are telling us, loud and clear, that something feels too overwhelming, too unsafe, or too much to manage.
They don’t need to be pushed harder.
They need to be understood.
Because connection, not correction, is what actually helps.
Let’s stop blaming and start listening.
Repost if you wish more people understood the realities of school avoidance 🔁
#SchoolAvoidanceSupport #EBSAAwareness #TeenMentalHealth #PsychologistOnInstagram #ParentingTeensUK #TherapyToolsForLife #AdolescentMentalHealth #MentalHealthEducation #FamilyMentalHealth #ParentingSupport #MentalHealthForFamilies #TeenAnxietySupport #TherapistLifeUK #UnderstandingEBSA
@drcarolynekeenan
91.9K
SAHow long do you fight it before you admit that your child is surviving not thriving? And if you do give up, how does that work in the real world? 🤯 #EBSA #ADHD #sendparent #schoolanxiety
@sadiemartin_pbs
3.2K
PDI’ve used this idea to grab attention — but let’s be clear:
EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance) isn’t something that needs to be fixed because the child isn’t broken.
When we talk about “fixing,” it should mean fixing the support, not the child.
EBSA is a response to fear, overwhelm, and unmet needs — not a behaviour to correct. Fines, attendance targets, detentions, and endless meetings won’t solve that.
What will help is understanding what’s driving the fear.
Sometimes that means early support, adjustments, or low-demand approaches to rebuild safety and trust within school.
Other times, it means asking the harder question — does the placement itself need to change?
Because the label EBSA focuses on the child as the problem… when in truth, the problem often lies with the environment.
💜 Drop the word RESOURCE below if you’d like access to my free EBSA guides — they explain what’s really going on and how to support effectively.
#PDAParenting #LookBeneathTheBehaviour #ParentingPDA #ConnectionOverCompliance #LowDemandParenting #AutismParenting #pdaparenting #autism #pda #pathologicaldemandavoidance #neurodivergent #send #autistic #autismacceptance #adhdparenting #parenting #EBSA #EmotionallyBasedSchoolAvoidance #notfineinschool #schoolrefusal #educationreform #reasonableadjustments #neurodivergentfamilies #parentcarers
@pdaparenting
8.3K
SUThe bad days aren’t always the problem.
School avoidance often escalates after the days that are nearly okay.
When a child pushes through and nobody notices the cost, their nervous system learns that survival matters more than safety.
If attendance dips after a “not too bad” day, this isn’t regression. It’s information.
You’re not doing this wrong.
And your child isn’t failing.
Save this. Share it with someone who needs it. 🥰
➡️And follow me for honest, lived SEND insight.
#SchoolAvoidance #EBSA #SENDParenting #NeurodivergentChildren #ChrissaWadlow
@sunshinechrissa
88.0K
ASI will never understand why the blame immediately goes to parents when they have children with emotional based school avoidance rather than looking at the place they don't want to go to.
I think that looking at mainstream to be more inclusive and having more training for teachers is great but I still stand by, manistream is NOT and will NEVER BE suitable for many SEND children.
My fear is how many more children with EBSA will there be, especially when removing the EHCPs too.
And who will be to blame then? Probably the parents once again. Even though early intervention has been almost removed, EHCPs are being replaced and hardly any SEN schools are being built but yeah, sure, blame the mums and dads for not making home as unsafe as school.
Make it make sense.
#ebsa #ehcp #schoolavoidance #parentblame ##senparent
@asd_with_a_g_and_t
53.0K
OUIt’s not for everyone but it’s definitely not as scary as people think…
#HomeEducation #HomeEd #Homeschool #EBSA #HomeEducationUK
@our.gladventures
11.8K
_RThis was alot harder than I thought, I think because realising we have to keep going through this storm feels impossible and never ending 💔
#autism #audhd #pda #pathalogicaldemandavoidance #lowarousalapproach #lowdemand #lowdemandparenting #slt #occupationaltherapist #ebsa #schoolavoidance #homeed #sensoryprocessing #sensoryintegration #idp #ehcp
@_rachaelmcguinness
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