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ALSix months since I opened a door and my entire world stopped.
According to the coroner’s timeline, 6 months ago today, at 12:15am it was the exact moment that life split into before and after.
Aaron — you were so much more than my son.
You were my baby.
My best friend.
The one who could make me laugh without trying.
The one who felt everything deeply, loved fiercely, and carried more pain than anyone ever realized.
You were kind in a way this world doesn’t protect.
You made people feel seen.
You were funny, smart, creative, hardworking, and endlessly loving.
You were trying. You were fighting. You were doing your best with an injured mind and system that betrayed you.
Finding you was the most painful moment of my life.
I opened the door.
I screamed a scream that echoed of maternal pain and horror
Your dad came running.
We were both instantly shattered — frozen in time, yet somehow watching it all happen from the outside.
It was unreal. Surreal. A moment that will live in our bodies and hearts forever.
Our family will never be whole again — not in the way it once was.
We all carry you now instead. In every breath. Every memory. Every quiet moment where your absence is louder than anything else.
Six months without you, Aaron.
And I miss you in ways words will never be able to hold. The void where my love for you once overflowed, has been patched with never ending grief that has been incredibly difficult for me to navigate. I know you are by my side, hand in hand, at all times but I’d give anything to see that smile or hear that laugh again. My heart is broken, as are the hearts of each of your siblings.
Despite our grief, we are determined to carry on the way you would want us to.
You are so missed
Forever in my heart
Forever my baby
Forever 20
#lifeafterloss #suicideprevention #grief #childloss #LLAR
@alexargrs
