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NELast night, someone close to me said that my son “bullies everyone.”
And I’ve been sitting with that ever since, fuming!!
My son is NOT a bully!!
He is a neurodivergent child who becomes dysregulated easily. He gets overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overexcited - and when that happens, his nervous system goes into fight-or-flight. That can look like aggression. It can look “too much.” It can be confronting.
But it is not premeditated. It is not calculated. And it is not rooted in a desire to hurt or dominate others.
What many people don’t understand is that not all children have the ability to pause, reflect, and “calm down” on demand. His brain does not work that way. When he is triggered, he is in survival mode - not thinking mode. He often reacts to what is happening to him, not with any long-term intention.
That doesn’t mean his behaviour is okay.
It does mean it needs to be understood correctly.
There is a huge difference between:
• A child who is intentionally cruel
and
• A child whose nervous system is overloaded and malfunctioning in the moment
Labeling him a “bully” does real damage - to him and to me.
Because while others get to walk away from these moments, I live in them. I advocate in them. I lose sleep over them. I carry the weight of every sideways look, every whispered comment, every misunderstanding.
I am not raising a child to hurt others.
I am raising a child who is learning how to exist in a world that is often too loud, too fast, and too much for his brain.
If you’re reading this and you’re quick to judge parents or children based on a single snapshot - I beg you to pause. Behaviour is communication. And not all communication is calm, tidy, or easy to understand.
If you genuinely want to understand, I’m always open to respectful conversation. Education, compassion, and teamwork will always do more for children than labels ever will.
From one very tired, very protective, very frustrated mum - please choose compassion before judgment
#senparenting #neurodiverseparenting #asdpathway #adhdmum #mumoftwo #senmum #boymum #mummabear #protectivemom #senparent #speechsounddisorders #moreeducation #connectionovercontrol #sensoryprocessing
@neurospicy_and_thriving
