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OF“When my daughter, Dharani, was growing up, I told her that she’d only marry in our caste. Me & everyone else in the family had adhered to this rule, so I thought that’s what was best for her too.
But years later, while working independently in the US, Dharani dropped a bomb on me!
She said, ‘Appa, there’s a boy I’m in love with, but he’s not from our caste…’ I was zapped! When I learnt it was her friend, Anand, whom I’d met a few years ago, I felt betrayed! Angrily, I said, ‘You must forget Anand.’
I cried in my room thinking where I’d gone wrong. Dharani & I grew distant after that day. We’d talk formally only on occasions. I missed my daughter terribly, but I was adamant.
For the next 4 years, while she was in the US, I looked for proposals. Every conversation would end in a heated argument. But while this was happening, I noticed that the families that came with a proposal for Dharani would ask about her salary. They were only interested in money; it bothered me. That’s when I spoke to my relatives.
I told them about Anand & to my surprise, they said, 'Dharani’s smart, if she likes someone, you should meet him!’ Then, they gave examples of couples who married in the same caste & were yet unhappy. It made me see things from Dharani's lens. And so, 6 months ago, I called her & said, ‘I’d like to meet Anand & his family.’ She excitedly said, 'Thank you, Appa!'
A month later, Dharani & Anand flew down to India & we all got together. We weren't very fluent in each other's language. I spoke Tamil, & Anand’s family spoke Marathi. But I felt the love Anand held for my daughter. He was humble. At the end of our conversation, I hugged him; Dharani was in tears.
After 6 years, the wall between us came down; I felt so happy! A few days later, we got them engaged. Since then, the wedding preparations have been in full swing! My little girl is getting married next month; I can’t believe it.
Sometimes, I think we’re so stuck on what we want for our kids, that we forget they’re old enough to make their own decisions. I took time to understand Dharani’s decision, but today, when I see her happy with Anand, I feel like there couldn’t have been a better match for her!”
@officialhumansofbombay
