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SOto some people, this probably feels “out of order.”
one of the ways we actively challenge couples privilege in our polyamorous relationship is by not letting hierarchy make decisions for us.
my partner, Rae, is engaged to my meta, Davina. they’ve been together for years. we live in different cities. and still — we decided to adopt a kitten together. 🐾🤍
for some, that’s something reserved for a “primary” or nesting couple. for us, it felt aligned. we both wanted a kitten. we’re deeply committed to each other. and i was genuinely excited about the idea of parenting together, even without cohabiting, nesting, or being the “original” couple.
this was a reminder that time doesn’t always equal depth, and relationship milestones don’t have to follow a single script. you can share different things with different partners. you can build in ways that don’t center hierarchy — even when societal hierarchy exists around you.
especially in polyamory, where hierarchy is often treated like a given, it’s something we try to examine intentionally.
how do you feel about hierarchy in polyamory?
do you think it’s unavoidable — or something worth actively questioning?
genuinely curious to hear people’s thoughts and experiences.
**little clarity moment: this is coming from my own lived experience, not a shared statement from everyone in our polycule. we each hold our own perspectives, and that’s something we’re honoring as we share more.
Love,
Bri 🧡
#poly #polyamorous #wlw #queer #fyp
@softqueerwealth
