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HA🤔You’re trying to help your child see that BOTH of their homes post divorce are theirs… but they’re only referring to one of their homes as “my home.” So now what?!
👋🏼I’m Jordan. I’m a children’s therapist who specializes in divorce and I’m here to help.
🔑The key to effective parenting responses is understanding what feeling or need is behind a behavior. So when I’m working with parents who are navigating this with their child my first question is, “why don’t they see the second home as theirs?”Using that info we want to do whatever we can to make BOTH homes feel comfortable and like they are their own.
🗣️That being said, language is POWERFUL. Your child may not call the home “my home”, but calling it ANYTHING other than “mom’s home” or “dad’s home” is helpful.
Here’s why: that language around their homes is a constant reminder of the divorce and the “split” or divide between their “two lives”. It also is parent centered language… it’s focuses on parents’ possession. We want child centered language around your child’s 2 homes.
If your child is refusing the call their second home theirs, and it feels like there’s nothing you can do to make that 2nd home feel like theirs, look for language with your child that feels right (that isn’t “mom’s”/ “dad’s”).
You can tell your child that you want to come up with a new “name” for their second home: it can be neutral and not about possession.
Some examples are:
✅ The yellow house (color)
✅ The condo (type of home)
✅ The Crest house (street name)
💕Most importantly, stay curious, open & empathetic when having these conversations with your child and avoid trying to force them to call both homes their own. Forcing it defeats the purpose (which is to support them in this adjustment).
💝Comment or DM me “SMOOTH” for my free custody calendar guide! (It includes step instructions on how to make your child’s calendar, printable templates and samples.)
📋 Comment or DM me “WAITLIST” to get on my digital divorced-parenting course waitlist!
💌DM me any of your parenting questions or ask them in the comments!
#happyin2homes #singledad #singlemom #divorce #parentingtips
@happyin2homes
