23.3K
NAThis one's gonna trigger a lot of people 😱 Follow @nathaliachristensen for more!
#codependency #codependent #datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships
@nathaliachristensen
#Recognizing Codependent Behavior
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1.2M
NOWhat do you think? 👇
1. They stay present in those conversations that once overwhelmed them, even while their body still feels activated. Being able to choose this kind of engagement rather than shutting down is a big sign of nervous system growth.
2. They explain their need for space instead of just disappearing. This can feel especially vulnerable when distance was once their main way of regulating for… probably ever.
3. They initiate contact in small but consistent ways. Grand gestures are often easier, but steady effort over time is much harder for avoidants and far more meaningful for the people receiving it.
4. They tolerate emotional discomfort instead of pulling away at the first sign of closeness. This only happens when their nervous system is learning to trust connection and understand that it doesn’t automatically equal a threat.
5. They come back after taking space instead of staying gone and they even tell you when they’ll be back 🥳 this shows growth but also a lot of awareness because they understand they need space and how long for.
6. They acknowledge your feelings, even if they don’t respond perfectly yet. Now this awareness is a real step toward emotional safety for everyone involved.
7. They’re more honest about their limits and capacity. This one is quite important because it shows major self awareness and humility.
There may be some stumbles and fumbles along the way, but these are strong signs of growth.
If you want to learn more about anxious–avoidant dynamics or how to build healthier connection, reach out and let’s have a conversation ❤️
Like and follow for more if this resonates 🙌
#avoidanthealing #attachmentstyles #emotionalsafety #relationshippatterns #secureattachment #datingclarity
@nomadcounsellor
374.3K
MAFix codependency using this 5-step method:
If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions:
1) What upset me?
Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.”
2) How did that make me feel?
Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.”
3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe?
Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.”
4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner.
Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?"
5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information!
#codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips
@matthiasjbarker
184.1K
VAAt it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self.
And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self.
So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you.
And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.
@vanessasbennett
33.1K
UPTHE CAGE OF CODEPENDENCY (and how to get out!) #Manifestation #LawOfAttraction #Magic thank you Salata for inspiring this video! ❤️ u Sheri!
@upspiral.life
12.8M
THSomeone with an avoidant attachment style had early childhood experiences where they weren’t safe. This can involve emotional neglect, boundary violations (smothering behavior), highly stressful/chaotic environments or abandonment.
Ultimately, through early repeated experiences, the avoidant person learns:
- I must take care of myself
- People who love me also hurt me and leave me
- Asking for help is pointless
- No one cares about what I think or feel
- Sharing my feelings will result in conflict and loss of connection
- I have to appease to survive
Because of a deep seated fear of emotional connection, avoidance is the coping mechanism. Most people who are avoidant feel most safe when they’re alone, not being perceived, and when they’re not being depended on.
In relationships, they quickly and easily feel smothered. They have an inner voice that tells them there’s always someone or something better “out there.” Often, they create an internal fantasy world where the past was better. They tend to glorify past partners and relationships or times when they were single.
My hope all my videos is to help people with insecure attachment learn the difference between their “attachment voice” and reality. To understand their behavioral and thought patterns. To start to have open and honest conversations with friends and partners.
All of us have an attachment style. And it deeply affects how we relate to ourselves and other people. The positive part is, attachment is fluid. With commitment and inner work we can all become more secure, compassionate, and connected with the people we love #selfhealers
@the.holistic.psychologist
9.5K
COPost by @unshakable.she Codependents often attract underfunctioning partners because they’re conditioned to feel valuable only when they’re needed, so they gravitate toward people who require rescuing. Their deep fear of abandonment makes them tolerate imbalance, hoping caretaking will create safety and connection. Meanwhile, underfunctioning partners are drawn to the stability and over-functioning energy the codependent provides, creating a perfect but painful match.💔take my free quiz is transgenerational trauma causing my codependency? DM me “trauma”
@codependencycurious
679.4K
ALWe broke up 6 years ago, and understanding the sneaky ways codependency shows up seriously changed everything for us when we got back together.
Now we’re engaged and have a completely different relationship.
Here are 7 signs that you might be in a codependent relationship:
1. You feel anxious if they don’t text back right away.
2. Their mood dictates your mood for the whole day.
3. You overthink what you said and replay conversations.
4. You apologize even when you’re not wrong just to keep the peace.
5. You secretly resent them, but don’t actually voice your needs because you want them to want to do it on their own.
6. You feel responsible for fixing their problems (even when they didn’t ask).
7. The thought of them leaving or being alone feels unbearable so you over-give and self-sacrifice to keep them close.
✨If you want to see if codependency is negatively impacting your relationship type “QUIZ” in the comments and I’ll send you my free codependency quiz.✨
Follow @alyssaaazander if you want to learn more about healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing.
@alyssaaazander
30.5K
MI✨Comment “JOY” for how my clients went from codependent to embodying and spread true joy!
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#empaths #empath #enmeshments #codependency #peoplepleasing #boundaries #highlysensitive #highlysensitiveperson #highlysensitivepeople #settingboundaries #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #introvert #toxicrelationships #codependent #traumabond #infj
@michelle_themindsetcoach
15.9K
THThey push people away… but deep down, they crave connection.
That’s the reality of Avoidant Attachment Style.
It’s not about not caring — it’s about fearing vulnerability.
People with avoidant attachment often:
– Struggle to express emotions
– Avoid closeness in relationships
– Feel uncomfortable depending on others
– Seem distant or “cold” even when they care deeply
💡 The truth? These are survival strategies developed in childhood — not flaws.
Healing begins with awareness, and attachment styles *can* change.
💬 Comment “🧠” if this felt relatable
🔁 Share with someone trying to understand relationship patterns
📌 Save this for your healing journey
👣 Follow for more attachment & mental health insights
\#AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentStyles #MentalHealthAwareness #PsychologyReels #RelationshipPatterns #TraumaHealing #EmotionalAvoidance #InnerChildHealing #MentalWellness #TherapyTools #MentalHealthIndia #AvoidantPersonality #SelfAwarenessJourney
@therapypulse
30.0K
EMThe last one is really the one that hits hardest for me. Learning to let go of trauma bonded relationships and codependent habits were not easy! The pattern has a history of repeating itself one too many times!!
#codependency #emotionallyunavailable #emotionalhealing #emotionalwellbeing #lifepurpose #empaths
@empathiccoach
504.5K
HECodependent people feel responsible for everyone's emotions because their brain learned to interpret other people's feelings as direct information about their own worth and safety.
When someone appears upset, angry, or disappointed,
your nervous system immediately treats it as evidence that you're failing at what feels like your most crucial job: keeping everyone emotionally stable.
You monitor everyone's emotional state like a security guard watching surveillance cameras,
and when someone seems off,
your anxiety spikes as you start calculating what you did wrong and how you can restore their emotional equilibrium.
Their feelings become your personal emergency that must be resolved immediately.
The most disorienting aspect of codependency is the complete erosion of emotional boundaries between yourself and others.
You literally cannot distinguish where your feelings end and theirs begin,
creating a psychological fusion where their sadness becomes your sadness,
their anger becomes your panic,
and their disappointment becomes your shame.
This emotional enmeshment means you're constantly flooded with feelings that don't actually belong to you,
leaving you exhausted and confused about your own authentic emotional experience.
If you grew up as the family's emotional regulator—managing a parent's moods or mediating conflicts—your brain learned that emotional caretaking equals love and that others' emotional states determine your safety.
This childhood programming created a nervous system that can't relax unless everyone around you is happy,
making adult relationships feel like constant emotional labor rather than mutual support.
Learning that other people's emotions are information about their experience, not instructions for your behavior,
is essential for reclaiming your emotional energy.
You can care about someone's feelings without being responsible for managing them,
and your emotional energy belongs to you first.
@hellodoctorkai
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