7.5K
NACodependency hurts 🥲 Spoken by a recovering codependent! Follow @nathaliachristensen for more 🩷
#datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships #relationshipcoach #trendingreels
@nathaliachristensen
#Codependent Relationship
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MAFix codependency using this 5-step method:
If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions:
1) What upset me?
Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.”
2) How did that make me feel?
Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.”
3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe?
Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.”
4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner.
Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?"
5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information!
#codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips
@matthiasjbarker
3.7M
QUIT’S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
to manage the emotions of another adult.
Codependence says : “I’m not okay if you’re not okay. So if you’re not okay, I need to fix it for both of us.”
The other person’s distress feels like a threat to our own wellbeing and a threat to our connection with them —> so we take over
Be supportive. Be kind. Be present.
But allow them to rely on their own resilience and trust them to manage their own big feelings
❣️
#codependency #codependentnomore #secureattachment #boundariesarehealthy #emotionalregulation #emotionalresilience #interdependence #healthyrelationships
@quinlanwalther
685.5K
ALWe broke up 6 years ago, and understanding the sneaky ways codependency shows up seriously changed everything for us when we got back together.
Now we’re engaged and have a completely different relationship.
Here are 7 signs that you might be in a codependent relationship:
1. You feel anxious if they don’t text back right away.
2. Their mood dictates your mood for the whole day.
3. You overthink what you said and replay conversations.
4. You apologize even when you’re not wrong just to keep the peace.
5. You secretly resent them, but don’t actually voice your needs because you want them to want to do it on their own.
6. You feel responsible for fixing their problems (even when they didn’t ask).
7. The thought of them leaving or being alone feels unbearable so you over-give and self-sacrifice to keep them close.
✨If you want to see if codependency is negatively impacting your relationship type “QUIZ” in the comments and I’ll send you my free codependency quiz.✨
Follow @alyssaaazander if you want to learn more about healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing.
@alyssaaazander
252.1K
GICodependence is when we try to take on roles that only God should have-savior, provider, fixer, source of identity. Healing comes when we let go of control, stop enabling, and trust God with ourselves and with the people we love.
@girlsgonebible
184.1K
VAAt it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self.
And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self.
So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you.
And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.
@vanessasbennett
600.2K
THIs it my codependency that overwhelms my partners or…
Listen to me on my new podcast, This Changes Everything.
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#therapy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #therapist #relationshipgoals #therapytok #relationshiptips #dating #datingadvice #love #datingtips
@therapyjeff
504.5K
HECodependent people feel responsible for everyone's emotions because their brain learned to interpret other people's feelings as direct information about their own worth and safety.
When someone appears upset, angry, or disappointed,
your nervous system immediately treats it as evidence that you're failing at what feels like your most crucial job: keeping everyone emotionally stable.
You monitor everyone's emotional state like a security guard watching surveillance cameras,
and when someone seems off,
your anxiety spikes as you start calculating what you did wrong and how you can restore their emotional equilibrium.
Their feelings become your personal emergency that must be resolved immediately.
The most disorienting aspect of codependency is the complete erosion of emotional boundaries between yourself and others.
You literally cannot distinguish where your feelings end and theirs begin,
creating a psychological fusion where their sadness becomes your sadness,
their anger becomes your panic,
and their disappointment becomes your shame.
This emotional enmeshment means you're constantly flooded with feelings that don't actually belong to you,
leaving you exhausted and confused about your own authentic emotional experience.
If you grew up as the family's emotional regulator—managing a parent's moods or mediating conflicts—your brain learned that emotional caretaking equals love and that others' emotional states determine your safety.
This childhood programming created a nervous system that can't relax unless everyone around you is happy,
making adult relationships feel like constant emotional labor rather than mutual support.
Learning that other people's emotions are information about their experience, not instructions for your behavior,
is essential for reclaiming your emotional energy.
You can care about someone's feelings without being responsible for managing them,
and your emotional energy belongs to you first.
@hellodoctorkai
9.2K
REDrop a 🤍 if you can relate..
Controlling partners have a way of making you walk on eggshells around them, never knowing what can set them off..
You can know whether or not a partner is controlling by the level of ease you have around them, how you feel when they ask you questions and you are afraid of saying or doing something that they won't like..
A caring partner will check in and see you cause they miss you, whereas a controlling partner will do it do be in charge.. if you find yourseld worried you forgot telling your partner where you went or that you did something, you may deal with a controlling person..
Control isn't always as obvious as "I don't want you to be around so and so..", usually controlling people will manipulate you so that you feel a certain way about the person or they'll make you feel bad for "choosing" someone else over them - and that is how they can cause separation with the person they don't want you around..
If they constantly point out how someone is a bad friend and then they mock you for not ending the friendship (making you feel weak), it can also be a way to control you without you realizing that is the main target..
💡Love isn't controlling - it is trusting..
💡How you FEEL around someone will tell you if they are healthy for you or not
👉🏼 for more tips follow @restored.woman for more
Have you had a controlling partner before? 🧡 I would love to hear your experience..
#toxicrelationships #toxicpeople
#toxiclove #toxicattraction #narcissisticabuse
#narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #controlling #abusiverelationship #abuseisnotlove #abusesurvivor #mentalabuse #emotionalabuse #eggshell #trauma #traumarecovery #mindcontrol l #relationshiptips #relationshipanxiety #relationshipissues #relationshipcoach #relationaltrauma #unhealthyrelationships #codependency #codependentrelationship
@restored.woman
4.4M
KIlet’s stop romanticizing codependency and focus on actions, priorities, healing, and responsibility.
thank you for staying alive.
#family #mentalhealth #relationships #mindset #healing #mentalhealthrecovery
@kidsa1nt
611.3K
YO⚠️How could you have learned that being with yourself was safe? You grew up learning that instead of tuning inward and discovering yourself, it was better for your survival to pay attention to others and what they need & feel and ignore yourself.
SO HOW DO YOU HEAL…?
✨You end the fear of abandonment by:
1️⃣Connecting internally to yourself & discovering the parts of yourself that you’ve abandoned. This connection to the Self builds a sense of security and safety from within so that being with yourself no longer feels scary and people leaving no longer sends you into a tailspin.
2️⃣Learning how to be in control of getting your needs met so that you no longer feel dependent on others for your needs.
💡This relationship that you build with yourself is what create the ultimate feeling of love, worthiness, & fulfillment.
⚠️Without an internal foundation of connection, safety, and love, no one outside of you is going to feel like enough.
❤️🩹Healing the fear of abandonment isn’t about anyone else, it’s about healing your relationship with yourself.
💌Comment the word ABANDONMENT and I’ll send you my free guide of the top 10 steps to heal abandonment wounds
#abandonment #abandonmentissues #abandonmenttrauma #abandonmentwound #abandonment_issues #attachmentissues #relationshiphealing #relationshipneeds #relationshipadviceforwomen #relationshipadviceformen #relationshipadvice101 #relationshipcoaching #relationshipcoachingforwomen #relationshipcoachforwomen #codependencyrecovery #codependentnomore #codependencynomore #codependentrelationship #codependentrecovery #fearofrejection #fearofabandonment #relationshipanxiety #relationshipadvise #relationshipgrowth #emotionalhealing #emotionalregulation #relationshipcoachformen #relationshipcoaches
@your.relationship.reset
2.0M
KAIndependent codependency
@katstickler
✨ Guida alla Scoperta #Codependent Relationship
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