7.8K
NACodependency hurts 🥲 Spoken by a recovering codependent! Follow @nathaliachristensen for more 🩷
#datingadvice #relationships #datingcoach #toxicrelationships #relationshipcoach #trendingreels
@nathaliachristensen
#Recognizing Codependency In Yourself
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184.2K
VAAt it’s core, Codependency stems from a lack of Self.
And so it doesn’t matter actually how it manifests for you in behavior. The recovery is all linked to building a solid sense of and relationship to that capital “S” Self.
So every time you listen to yourself and act on what you truly want, desire, feel, need - you’re telling that small muted and greyed out sense of self that you are there to listen, you are there to learn, that you trust you, and that you’ve got you.
And every time you do that, that quiet voice gets louder. That connection gets stronger. That inner knowing - ie the relationship to that sense of Self - grows.
@vanessasbennett
3.7M
QUIT’S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
to manage the emotions of another adult.
Codependence says : “I’m not okay if you’re not okay. So if you’re not okay, I need to fix it for both of us.”
The other person’s distress feels like a threat to our own wellbeing and a threat to our connection with them —> so we take over
Be supportive. Be kind. Be present.
But allow them to rely on their own resilience and trust them to manage their own big feelings
❣️
#codependency #codependentnomore #secureattachment #boundariesarehealthy #emotionalregulation #emotionalresilience #interdependence #healthyrelationships
@quinlanwalther
33.2K
UPTHE CAGE OF CODEPENDENCY (and how to get out!) #Manifestation #LawOfAttraction #Magic thank you Salata for inspiring this video! ❤️ u Sheri!
@upspiral.life
25.8K
HEJust type the word "workshop" if you want to come! It's the last one of the year so I hope to meet you there.
Codependency doesn't mean you're broken or pathological.
It means you learned to survive by making yourself small, useful, and always focusing on others' needs because that's what kept you safe.
You're not disordered.
You're adapted to dysfunction.
Hear me out.
Maybe you grew up in an environment where your needs didn't matter or they were actively punished.
You learned that love meant taking care of others, that your value came from being useful, and that having boundaries made you selfish.
So, you developed codependency as a brilliant survival strategy for an environment where it was dangerous to be yourself.
The therapy world, the self-help world, the coaching world can sometimes pathologize codependency as if there's something wrong with us.
But we're not broken here.
You're responding exactly as you were trained to respond.
The issue isn't that you're codependent.
It's that you're still using childhood survival strategies in adult relationships today where it no longer serves you.
I know.
Let's take a deep breath here.
God. I'm here to create a calmer, kinder, brighter world.
And that starts with us, this world inside.
You're not defective.
You learned these patterns for good reasons.
Now you get to learn new ones.
Boundaries, prioritizing your needs, existing without constantly managing others.
You're not fixing what's broken.
You're updating what worked then to what works now.
I hope to see you in my workshop.
It's time for an upgrade ✨️🦋✨️
@hellodoctorkai
375.6K
MAFix codependency using this 5-step method:
If you feel irritated, guilty or have negative thoughts, answer these questions:
1) What upset me?
Example: ”I’m upset that they don’t want to spend time with me.”
2) How did that make me feel?
Example: “It makes me feel like I’m unimportant, like they secretly hate being around me.”
3) What do THEY need to feel seen and safe? What do I need to feel seen and safe?
Example: “They need to be seen by their friends, and to feel that our relationship is safe” and “I need reassurance and quality time.”
4) Now share steps 1-3 with your partner.
Example: "I felt upset and was passive-aggressive the other night when you hung out with your friends. I was worried that you might not enjoy spending time with me, but I understand that you need time with your friends too. I just need some reassurance from you sometimes, and I'd like to spend some quality time with you as well. Can we work on this together?"
5) Collaborate on strategies to be able to come toward each other with this information!
#codependency #codependent #relationships #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips
@matthiasjbarker
75.0K
RACodependency is when, instead of regulating my own mood, I try to regulate your behavior. I will find no serenity until I admit that the only person I can control is myself.
ㅤ
#codependency
#selfcontrol
#soulwisdom
@rabbi_shais_taub
1.6M
BEIf you feel like you can’t concentrate on anything else if you think they’re being “off” with you… I get it.
When you’re anxiously attached, your whole body goes into panic mode the second something feels different.
You’re not overreacting, your nervous system is genuinely convinced something is wrong.
You can be at work, out with friends, doing something you normally love… and your brain is still stuck replaying their last message, their tone, their vibe change…
It’s like you physically can’t relax until you know everything’s okay again.
But here’s the truth no one tells you:
It’s not the relationship making you spiral.
It’s your nervous system trying to protect you based on old wounds.
Your brain learned that closeness can disappear quickly, so now it treats every shift as danger.
Here’s how you start breaking out of that loop:
1. Catch the trigger early. Notice the moment your stomach drops instead of letting the spiral take over.
2. Regulate your body first. Breathe, ground, journal… calm your state before you try to fix the situation.
3. Question your story. “Is this actually happening or is this my fear talking?”
4. Build security within yourself, not through their responses. The more you soothe your own panic, the less power these moments have over you.
This is exactly why I created my Peace Over Panic workbook… It takes you through the exact tools I used to stop spiralling every time someone felt “off” and finally feel safe in my own body again.
Comment READY and I’ll send you the link to the PDF version.
🫶🏻 You can buy the printed version directly on my website too!
#anxiousattachment #relationshipanxiety #attachmentstyles #anxiousattachmentstyle #abandommentwound
@beccas_day_
818.1K
THYour brain learned a pattern. Now you’re unlearning it.
[ emotional attachment, detachment healing, letting go process, overthinking thoughts, emotional dependency, self growth journey, healing from attachment, mindset shift, inner work, emotional clarity ]
#emotionalhealing #lettinggo #selfgrowth
@theaaryaacut
39.4K
MIIf you’re stuck in researching, understanding and analysing…
Then I encourage you to ask yourself if you are in subconscious avoidance of taking action on these patterns, either by avoiding seeking the right support, or by avoiding doing the work…
Staying in “understanding” feels SAFER for codependents. But it doesn’t help you move forwards, even if your brain tries to convince you that it will…
If you’re ready to face the real work, then comment “HEAL” and I’ll guide you through it ❤️
@michelle_themindsetcoach
187.7K
YO5. Acknowledge your inner child, the part of you who experienced abandonment long ago. They are the part of you who feels panic, anxiety, and fear. Speak to them gently, validate their fear, offer them understanding & presence, let them know that YOU are here for them, you’re not going anywhere ❤️
💡Soothing your abandonment wound begins with changing the way you meet yourself when you are triggered.
🔥Your power is in your ability to be aware of your automatic patterns and consciously choose a different response.
You can CHOOSE to…
✨notice your feelings
✨understand what you need
✨give that need to yourself
✨be the parent to your inner child
✨give yourself safety & comfort too
Comment the word ABANDONMENT and I will send you my free guide, Healing Your Abandonment Wound, for a deeper dive into these healing steps ❤️🩹
#abandonment #abandonmentissues #relationshiphealing #innerchild #innerchildwork #innerchildhealing #abandonmentwound #abandonmentwound #abandonmenttrauma #emotionalabandonment #emotionallyunavailable #emotionalrelease #reparenting #reparentingyourself #innerchildlove #innerchildwound #attachmentissues #attached #anxiousattachmentstyle #secureattachmentstyle #secureattachment #relationshipcoaching #relationshipcoachingforwomen #relationshipcoachformen #relationshipcoaches
@your.relationship.reset
180.8K
PEDrop a 💙 and please let me know in the comments how codependency shows up for you in relationships.
@authormelodybeattie is an absolute genius and her book “Codependent No More” is a must read. 📘
I read her book in 1986 and heard the word “codependent” for the first time and it was an “aha” life changing moment. I’ve been reading this book every year for 30+ years and every time I get an even deeper understanding of where and how codependency causes suffering in my relationships. 🌺
I think it should be required reading in school.
There is so much wisdom in this book and the truth is, once we understand how codependent we are in a relationship we actually begin to set ourselves free.
Thank you Melody Beattie for this treasure. ✨
@peaceful_barb
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